resolution II

every friday, the city of chicago publishes a booklet highlighting the many events going on in the city for the upcoming week. there usually listed are schedules of exhibitions, art shows, theater performances, symphony orchestras, movies, i-max line-up, the going-ons at navy pier and planetarium and the contemporary art museum and the musem of science and industry and etc etc.

and every friday i'll pick up the booklet, perusing them intently, promising myself that i'll someday go to this show or that performance or this exhibition or that museum.

i missed going to these things. i used to attend the shows, back when i was at western michigan, coz there's always aida and her friends, and later azlin and her friends, to keep me company.

and then, i was back to being alone. i felt like not going anymore, even though i truly missed it, coz it's like going to the moon and back and nobody's around to share the fun with. i'd often come out from the shows, feeling content and fulfilled, and then got saddened when i saw that there's no one by my side joining my happiness. i'd end up being back home utterly discouraged.

*sigh*

no more.


i finally figured out my resolution for this year. i will, at least once, go see an art exhibition, watch a theater show, and sit and enjoy a symphony orchestra performance. i'd like to go to a movie more often. and dine out sometimes.

i will do this, and more, even if i'll be going there alone.

i chose this life, this being alone. i've chosen this way, this being lonely.
i've long accepted my fate, and it's time to move on.

a day late, but happy new year syamil.