the hilarious mr bodo

speaking of cats, let me tell you a funny story:

my mother once had a cat, a big macho male with dirty-ish white coat and tan-colored spots. my mom affectionately called him 'buntat'. my dad nicknamed him 'King' coz the cat had his own special foodplate, unlike our other cats, and that when this cat got on a bed he just refused to budge, even if you shoo him off, like the bed was now his-majesty's resting place and no one else must bother his royal rest.

i, however, called him 'bodo,' because - well, quite simply, he's an idiot. his complete lack of braincells just never ceased to amaze me.

one time, he peed at my sister. he was just walking around going oh-la-la when he stopped at the corner of the living room, apparently for a pit-stop, coz one of his legs was already up. my mother saw him and yelled out, "he's going to pee! he's going to pee! get him!!!" and my sister immediately jumped at the cat, snatched him up, and then made the mistake of cradling the cat in her arms like a baby, when mr bodo - clearly unaware of the etiquette of peeing - just unleashed his release dead-aim at my sister's nostrils. so there he was, all cozy in my sister's arm, while my sister was running frantically for the door, and he still kept the stream going like it's nobody's business.

i was laughing so hard, i was doubling over on the floor.

this cat was so stupid, i tell ya, that he ran into our glass door. he was running fullspeed towards the door, chasing god-knows-what, and either didn't realize the glass door was closed or that he didn't see his own reflection (not that the idiot would know his own reflection if he saw one), and he ran right smack onto the glass. there was a loud bang, and we saw him scampering backwards,  clearly surprised at the nothingness that had hit him. then he sat down, blinking stupidly, licking his paws trying act like nothing had happened. when he saw we were watching him, he gave us the look, like, "oh yeah, ha ha, um, i meant to do that..."

he, like all cats, loved to climb. but this particular embarrasment-for-all-cats could never climb back down. he would with all machoness climb the curtain wayyy up ceiling high, and then lost all his balls when looking back down. often we would hear him meowing his pitiful meow, and best bet was that you'd find him stuck up there, desperately hanging for dear life, literally by the end of his claws. then my brothers or i would have to climb the cabinet to pluck him out. sooner or later he'd up there again, wailing for a rescue, never learning his lesson.

and he loooooved minyak cap kapak, - you know, the medicinal oinment? rub some of the oil on your finger, then hold it in front of mr bodo's nose, and he would go for it everytime. he would lick it dry; put on some more, and he would lick it, and lick it, until he's practically drunk. he would lose every sense of movement. he would lie on his back, swinging from side to side, grinning happily, clawing the air like he was catching stars nobody else could see.

my mom never knew about this, of course. but it was a sport to me and my brothers, making the cat drunk, and shrieking with laughter at his silliness.

but my particular love was to play chase with him. i would entice him with a string, and he would jump at it and chase it endlessly. and i do mean, end-less-ly. most cats would get bored chasing the string after awhile, and some were smart enough to go after my hand instead. but not this idiot, nooo sirree bob. i would run with the string all thru the hallway, and he would chase it all the way thru the hallway. i would run the string in circle, and he would chase it in circle. he-just-would-not-quit! and then, after some time of chasing the string in circle, he would stagger a little, his eyes now heavily crossed, ears in all directions, his legs were about to give away, i swear he was a few more running-in-circles away from throwing up, when he would just drop to the floor, tongue wagging, panting hard out of breath, and just lie there dizzy for a few minutes in an equally drunkened stupor.

hilarous!!!

and this wasn't a kitten, i'm telling you. this was a full grown-up cat; all muscles, but no brain to speak of whatsoever.

another peculiar trademark idiocy of him was when he saw a bird. he would suddenly sit up straight, absolutely stock-still, eyes fixated on the target, ears perched high. you could feel the drama in the air, a hunter eyeing the hunted, setting up for a pounce. you could see the suppressed ferociousness of an inner-junglecat about to leap out. he would sniff the air, waiting for the right downwind. he would coil real tight, ready for a dramatic encounter.

then, after all these set-up of masking his prowl, he gave a dead giveaway of his hiding position, when out of his mouth would come this ridiculous wheezing sound:

errrhhhhhheeehhh...!
ehhhhhhhhhheehhhhh!!
EEEEEHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!"

i mean, *sigh...*

i guess it'd take an equally brain-free bird to fall for that trick. other birds would sit amused, shaking their heads, thinking, "what.. an.. idiot.."

i went to the US soon after, and didn't get to know of what had happened to the hilarious mr bodo. i asked my mom years later, she told me that the cat one day just disappeared, apparently after finding himself a girlfriend. even to this day, i can't find another cat as proudly or as shamelessly stupid as he was. even to this day, i can't help myself but laugh whenever i think of him and his silly exploits.

god bless him, though, wherever he is. : )