updates

updates:

still sick, like a kitten.

kerry-bush tied at 49%, with 3 days to go. kerry losing ground, but leading, in PA. kerry gaining in OH. all squared in WI.

happy halloween. i'll be dressed as the flu-wrecked patient.

and, omg, iza actually emailed me a hi...

listlessly

i'm getting sick again... ackhh!!

i feel completely lethargic, my head feels hot, my head feels cold, my chest's hurts, my fingers are quivering, i'm losing my voice, and i think i'm coughing up blood.

*sigh*

i need my mommy...

eulogy 2

Lagu Rindu
Siti Nurhaliza
Lagu/lirik: Yasin

Angin lalu nyanyi lagu rindu
Rasa di kalbu kian syahdu
Air wajahmu gambaran sejuta pilu

Abadikan cinta
Abadikan segala rasa yang tercurah sesama kita
Jangan bimbang jangan sekali kau ragu

Kerana cinta cintanya
Kerana rasa imannya
Selama menyala
Cinta dalam jiwa semua

Ayyi zamaan ayyi makaan
Kau tetap dalam ingatan
Ayyi zamaan ayyi makaan
Jiwa dalam kerinduan

Kerana cinta cintanya
Kerana rasa imannya
Selama menyala
Cinta dalam jiwa semua

Sang bayu nyanyi lagu rindu
Abadikan segala rasa yang tersemat di kalbu

eulogy

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
(author unknown)
for ellie...

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there,
I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
for I am not there,
I did not die.

iza the sunshine

here's a story of iza:

it's her birthday today. (happee birthdayyy!!) i had forgotten that i once saved a note on my yahoo calendar about her birthdate. when the event reminder popped up, it got me reminiscing about those good old days of my fascination with iza.

she was the most awesomely beauuuuutiful girl i have ever met. the sorta girl that made you think, "geewhizz was she made in a lab or something??, coz her beauty's just the very definition of perfection!" remember that n'snyc song? - "When I look into your eyes I know that it's true God must have spent a little more time on you... They broke the mold when you came in this world.." yeah, like dat.

and no, many have asked me, but no, i wasn't in love with her. i was just mesmerized by her; fascinated by her. i supposed i've lived long enough to understand my place in the scheme of the world. enggang sama enggang, kata orang. lalang serumpun lalang.

i met her, - or, actually, saw her - during my brief stint in sunway. i was walking out of the bookstore when she walked in. and, and - let's put it this way: have you ever crossed path with those drop-dead gorgeous people and you are just soooo captivated by them like a magnet and you just can't take your eyes off them? that your heart flew aflutter like a happee happee bird, and that the world seemed to stop spinning, and everything's suddenly turned slooooww-mo and there was this angelic/choir music soundtrack playing in your ears?

yep, it was like that i saw her. and i damned near hit the door when i was walking out of that bookstore.

i didn't know her name at that time. who was this perfection of beauty, what was her name? i was sooo enamored by her that a poem (read) whispered into my soul. i wrote it down and then passed it - anonymously, of course - to her.

it so happened, and i swear to God this really happened, she was sitting with her guy friend at the corner of the cafetaria, just the two of them alone, when my poem was delivered to her. apparently, the guy was doing his oh-i'm-so-in-love-with-you bit at the moment, pouring his heart out to iza, confessing to her of his love and iza opened it, read it, and then gasped, smiled, and said wow isn't that sweet???
meanwhile the guy was right in front of her, and he was turning red.

talk about bad timing...

i saw the whole thing because i was hiding behind a nearby wall. (yep, the chicken-ass that i am.) and i spent the whole semester avoiding the guy and his crowd because i heard there's a bounty on my head (thank god the poem was anonymous) and they were so incensed on aiming to get the crap kicked out of the mysterious poet who spoiled a love confession episode.

i sent her more poems. some i wrote, some were clippings from my book of poetry. i think she loved them, and loved the attention. i've been told by our mutual friend that she kept all the poems. how sweeeet!

i wrote her a song too. back when i first saw her, when my friends and i were drooling and sighing and mooning over her everytime she sat wayyy across us in the cafetaria, we decided to call her "sunshine." coz, well, she made us happy when skies were gray. hee! so the song i wrote for her was, predictably, called "the sunshine song." it's a medium-beat acoustic song, and the chorus went: "ooh i feel you fillin' in my darkness ooh i feel you in and out the rain ooh i feel you whisked away the sadness... [beat] sometimes i wished you're with me now [beat] sometimes i wished you're in love with meeeee ooo sunshine my sunshine ooo yeah..."

hikhik! omg, to be young and dreamy and corny. : )

one time, i was hanging out with my friends in the cafetaria, with a guitar in my hands, and all the sudden iza came by and sat right across from me. obviously, i was shocked. shocked to be in the presence of the goddess, of course, but also shocked that my secret might be out and her guy-confessor might come over and beat the hell outta me.

so i said a timid "hi," and she smilingly said hi back. and then, - oh for the love of all things holy!! - my friend, whom i've given a note/poem earlier to pass to iza, came by at that very precocious moment, sat next to iza, winked at me and slipped the poem to iza, right there in front of me! i very nearly dropped dead of a heart-attack. iza's eyes went wide, and then quietly read the poem with her trademark gorgeous smile pursed on her lips. i was stone-silent, and my friend kept leering and grinning at me.

iza then looked up all giddy and then looked at me. i swallowed hard, and very very casually then remarked, "another one from him, huh..?"

she was surprised. "you know him??" she asked, excitedly. "is he here? is he here??"

my friend was grinning even wider. i just shrugged and smiled. fuh, that was close.

then, seeing that i had a guitar in my hands, iza asked me if i can play Guns'n Roses' song november rain. so, i played. there i was, sitting in front of iza the sunshine goddess, watching her every smile, worshipping her every move, singing and playing november rain for her. what a treat.

intermittened in the next four years, i kept sending her notes and poems. FOUR years. i didn't tell her who i was. i didn't know if she knew it was me. but it came to a point when i was leaving US and hadn't a clue if i was coming back, and i decided i should finally tell her. so i gave her a call, told her i'm syamil - and she went quiet a litte - and said i was the the guy who had been sending her all those little poems - and she said hiiii!! and i could already see that cute smile on her face.

we talked for awhile, nothing much. i asked her if she knew me, and she said she only knew of me, that's all. i asked if she knew it was me, and she said she had an inkling but wasn't truly sure. that was it, though, a phone call four years too late.

afterwards, whenever we crossed path, she'd smile at me. she once asked me why did i send her all those poems. i said because she deserves all the flatterings. she asked how if it was hard writing the poems, and i said something like, "when somebody's THIS beautiful, the inspiration comes easy." )

i did get back to the US after months of hiatus, and she was still there, just as gorgeous. she was a little plumper, a little on the chubbier side, but prettiest and loveliest just the same. by then it wasn't a secret anymore of my fascination towards iza. her friends teased me a lot, and i just kept quiet. she had a boyfriend, anyway. (come to think of it, i can't remember a time when she didn't have a boyfriend, or rumored to have a boyfriend, or in the arms of somebody i had to believe was her boyfriend, for as long as i've known her.) but anyway, i stayed away from her, simply coz i didn't want to spook her out, or made her think that i was stalking her.

we kept in touch, few and far between that it was, thru emails. but we lost contact some time later, and haven't heard from her ever since. she's probably married by now, with cute kids.

anyway, where ever she is, if only in my foolish dreamworld that she may come across this blog and read it, happy birthday ms sunshine.

electoral college part 2: final stretch

here we go: a week's left before the national election. it's the final stretch, the late scramble, the longest yard.

i stand by my earlier election prediction. i think Bush is going to win, barring any late miracle by Kerry, which could yet happen. i still think the election will pivot on a handful of midwestern states - Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Wisconsin. latest updates: Kerry's barely leading in PA, trailing in Ohio, and badly lagging in WI.

As for the other swing states, Florida is on the lips of many political pundits, though for the life of me i don't see how. Third of a million more registered Democrats in Florida, and Kerry's still behind a point. it'd take a very very heavy voter turnout amongst the latino and the black and the senior citizen community for Kerry to snatch Florida into his column, and i don't see that happening.

Missouri's going Bush, so's Arkansas and Tennessee and Arizona and West Virginia. Washington (state) looks to go Kerry, thank god, and so's New Hampshire and New Mexico. Colorado could be the spoiler, though. if CO's electoral college reform referendum is approved, which i don't think it will, the state may split 4-5 Kerry. any votes would help, clearly.

the latest national polls varyingly put Bush 4 to 5 points ahead of Kerry, among likely voters, to an even 48-48% in some other polls. Bush has the solid support of 91% of republican voters (three out of four of these republicans, incidently, still stubbornly believe that there's WMD somewhere out there in Iraq, these in-denial people), and Kerry carries only 86% of the democratic group. good news for Kerry? half of those who didn't vote the last cycle very much intend to vote this year, half of whom are still not considered likely voters, and this group overwhelmingly favors Kerry 60-40. the crop of new voters, the youth votes, if they actually turn out to vote, also lean towards Kerry. IF they actually get up their lazy asses and vote.

the race now hinges on the votes of the undecideds, these fence-sitters, these mugwumps, a sliver of about a few hundred thousand electorate who'd usually decide once they get to the voting booth. Kerry's doing a frenetic campaigning to win these votes, mostly in Ohio Wisconsin Florida. Bush seems to not mind these swing voters much, focusing more on his conservative base instead. two different political strategies, how interesting.

Again, as i've noted months before, for Kerry to win he has to first carry Pennsylvania. then comes Wisconsin. then comes Ohio. lose any of these, and sayonara bhubbye seeya. winning NH, WA, NM and IA would be moot. now if Florida does a dramatic turnaround and ekes out Kerry's way - and i'm praying hard for this - Kerry could afford to lose WI long as he holds either PA or OH.

i think barely 53 percent of voters will vote. as it stands, i think Bush will win between 285 to 291 electoral college votes (271 clinches the presidency).

i'm depressed, but i'm hoping hard for a miracle.

good night tonight

hari ni ada majlis buka puasa lagi... yay!

maka terhidanglah ayam masak kicap, kari daging, ikan bakar, bubur nasi, laksa johor, kuih sampai tiga-empatpulo jenis. and weewhoooo ada sambal belacan!! can i say... orgasmic? i swear i was near ecstacy the moment it entered my mouth. i was in high heaven, my eyes shut tight, breath held, my body shuddered with ultimate pleasure. that was kewl.

i ate like i haven't eaten in a week, which was true. i ate till i got so bloated, i had to watch with pity the other stuff i could not eat summore: the coffee cake, pengat pisang, chococalate cake, etc etc.

finally i got to meet the northwestern kids. i talked to a girl, nwu junior, and we talked for a long while about my life when i was there, a lifetime ago. and we talked about her exams and her studies and i teased her about nwu students having absolutely no life whatsoever and she got all puffed-up. but she was impressed that i was from nwu, and invited me to their raya gathering. i said fine. she said maybe i could give a talk to the students, i said say what?? and i also said that the nwu kids wanted to go shopping, just call me and i could drive them around. i've lived the nwu life before and i know the difficulties.

it was a good chat.

there's a baby boy, name's azin, but barely seven months old who, for some peculiar reason, seemed to take a liking at me, a lot. he cooed and shrieked and smiled and giggled when i held him, and i just adored him for that. what a super-duper active kid, always wanting to crawl around (especially to the stairs). her mother had to constantly stop chatting and feeding his older sister alia (age two, i think) just to snatch azin up and put him back to the living room. and soon as he's down, he started darting off again in his cute baby crawl.

so i picked him up, played with him, showed him around, rescued his pacifier when he dropped it, let his tiny tiny fingers squeeze my pinkie, let him talked to me in his adorable gibberish gagagaagawaaa, let him rest his soft head onto my shoulder as he watched the restless activities around him.

i just love baby smells. no, not that one. the other baby smell, - could be the lotion or the talcum or whatever, but i loooooove that.

the guys seemed amused that i could hold azin in my arms, with no fuss between the two of us. one guy confessed that he didn't hold his kids for the longest time because he had absolutely no clue what else to do. and of course i got teased again and again about getting my own baby. alahai. if i ever could. i've been wanting a baby since i turned twenty...

so, anyway, i had a good night tonight.

kumari bocor

alamak eh cik kumari ni leaking la pulak. demmit.

i thot i smelled gasoline in the car, i looked around but saw nothing. after awhile i found what the problem was: there's a leak in the gas line, at the side of the driver door. it's dripping gasoline bit by bit (dah la minyak tgh mahal nih.. isk!) and i swear the repair's gonna cost me a fortune.

so i had to stop working and went to a couple of bodyshops nearby. the repair quote so far: 250 bucks. holy hell??? seems that the entire gas line has to be replaced. again, holy *&%$^#??

i'll have to find a cheaper repair though. so now i'm driving Kumari around on a prayer and a half, hoping that she won't blow up and incinerate my cheap ass in the mean time.

west wing 6: season premiere

previously on the West Wing:

Admiral Fitzwallace and two congressmen perished in a bombing in Gaza, with Donna critically wounded. The Middle-East tension escalates when the Israelis surround the PLO Chairman Farad's compound. The Palestinian police refuse to apprehend Nasan without explicit authority from Farad. Leo thinks Jed is gun-shy, and says so to POTUS face. Meanwhile, Donna's injury takes a turn to the worst...

Season 6 Premiere - NSF Thurmont:

We see Marines attending to the procession of Fitz's funeral. Very vintage TWW - snapshot images, one after another, with wonderful cinematography and amazing camera angle. The music then drops in dramatically, and we see a line of limosines snaking thru the (Arlington?)cemetary. POTUS is in one of the limo, discussing the current Mid-East crisis with Abbey and Asst. NSC Advisor Kate Harper and Leo. Leo keeps harping on military action, and doubts that Farad really wants a peaceful solution.

We then proceed to the church, where Jed's giving the eulogy. and quoth Jed from the Book of Matthews:

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy..

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God..

"And blessed are the peacemakers, for they are the children of God..."

smashcut to title music. so far so good. (p/s: Kate Harper is a regular now????)

The rest of the episode contends with the turmoil in the Mid-East. The Speaker wants POTUS to take aggresive military action, and says that a mere peace summit is dishonoring the congressmen's deaths. Leo says that Congress, Joint Chiefs, and 80% of the American public wants Jed to carpetbomb Gaza. Madam Ambassador Gallit of Israel flatly rejects any suggestion of sitting at the same table with Farad, accusing Farad as the mastermind behind recent bus bombings in Tel Aviv.

POTUS then calls everybody to the Oval and wants ideas, and no ideas too stupid, about getting Farad and the Israelis at the same table.

Kate then says, "really stupid ideas?" POTUS says yes, and Kate suggests that they forget what had happened in the last 24 hours and hold Farad to his earlier promise to apprehend Nasan if Farad wants a seat at the peace summit. If Farad equivocates, then POTUS can go to the press and says that Farad refuses to cooperate. If the Palestinians apprehend Nasan, then the show of good faith may the Isrealis that the negotiations are valid.

POTUS then goes to both Farad and Israeli PM, and soon with the custody of Nasan by the Palestinian forces, the Camp David (aka NSF Thurmont) Peace Summit is back on.

Meanwhile Josh and Colin are busy in a pissing contest over Donna, and Donna's sudden pulmonary embolism requires surgery that soon turns critical that she may incur brain damage in the next 48 hours.

The episode closes with a view of Josh at Donna's bedside. She wakes up slowly, and calls repeatedly for Josh. Donna gives a weak smile, and whispers, "You're still here..."

and Josh whispers back: "Yeah... I'm still here..."

sweet!

I feet really damn good about the episode. Hopefully it keeps up. But TWW, as evident in the last season, tends to start with pomp and fireworks, - and soon goes frustratingly downhill thereafter. The writing's still good, not as good as Sorkin's, but still. I think TWW's taking itself a little too seriously though, ever since the departure of Sorkin, focusing too much of national issues and less on character conflicts. Used to be that every TWW episode is witty and funny and insightful and always have one of those laugh-out-loud moments in the midst of serious issue discussions. The dialogs and the banters used to be the best on TV, and four straight years of Emmy Awards for Outstanding Drama are evident of that.

This year we'll see, I guess...

love ad

there's a tv commercial that i really adore:

it's paris, and there's a couple strolling in the middle of a square, with doves lingering about. the guy stops and says that he wants to do something. the girl giggles in expectation and asks what. the guy then shouts at the top of his lung, yelling out to the world, "I LOVE THIS WOMAN! I LOVE HER! I-LOVE-HER!!" even the birds are taken aback, flapping their wings generously.

the girl looks around embarrased, and asks the guy to stop. the guy pulls out a beautiful ring from his pocket, holds it to her, and says, "then maybe this'll do.."

she wells up with tears, and hugs the guy, and then she very very quietly whispers: 'i love this man.. i love him i love him..."

isn't it sweet?

desperate housewives

i haven't been following a drama series this religiously ever since The West Wing, but nowadays there's a very good one on ABC this tv season: Desperate Housewives (website).

the story is narrated (from the afterlife) by Mary Alice Young, a housewife of Wysteria Lane, following her sudden suicide. she tells of Susan, Bree, Lynette and Gabrielle - her four friends, housewives all, who themselves are desperate in their homebody lives, and they now struggle to fathom her reasons to put a bullet thru her head.

Susan is divorced, after her husband ran off with his secretary. With the prodding of her daughter, Susan vainly attempts to hook up with Mike, a handsome but mysterious guy who just moves into the neighboorhood. one day she accidently burned down the house of her trampy slutty neighbor who's also vying for Mike's attention, and it doesn't help that another very nosy neighbor found out about fire.

Bree is the quintessential housewife, loving the life, very good at it, keeping a seemingly happy family and wants to keep them to appear that way. the secret she keeps? her husband wants a divorce, and Bree's trying everything to avoid it, and to hide it from her friends.

Gabrielle is the sexy seductress who found herself a very rich husband, but discovers that marriage life isn't exactly as peachy. her secret? - she has an affair with her hunky young gardener (who's been paying more attention to the sex than to the garden, that Gabrielle had to sneak out of a dinner party one night to go back home and mow the lawn before her husband discovers.) there have been several close-calls, but later Gabrielle was caught in the act by her next door neighbor's little daughter..

Lynette, on the other hand, quits her high-paying executive job to be a full-time mom. she's at the brink of her sanity trying to cope with and with a husband who isn't always home, and with her three nasty little brats (one time, she drove away after throwing out her noisy kids by the streets to teach them a lesson, and then came back moments later all panicky to find them not there anymore.) and she's starting to think that her going back to a home-life is a huge mistake.

four very interesting stories, and four very interesting characters.

add to that, Mike isn't what Susan thinks he is. the four gals later found a threatening letter addressed to Mary the day she shot herself. Bree discovered, and then stole, a secret recording tape of Mary's session with a marriage counselor. and Mary's husband, after her death, dug up a big wooden box and threw it into the river, and the box later bobbled up and was discovered by the authorities - and it was full of human bones...

it's an intriguing drama, it's smart and funny and suprising and sometimes raunchy. there's a hook at every turn, a mystery after another keeps surfacing, a twist of the plot at every corner. i don't know how the show's going to keep the intrigue level up all season long, but it got me glued to the tv every sunday at 8. (and it helps that the lead-in show is the Most Extreme Makeover, just about the only reality show i watch.. very tear-jerker touching type of show.)

Desperate Housewives. two thumbs up, four-of-four stars. it's the number one drama three weeks in a row now. hopefully, it keeps up!

p/s: new season's premier of West Wing this week! woohoo!!

somebody

saw this videoclip on CMT the other day, and it got my heart aflutter...

Somebody
by Reba McEntire

At a diner down on Broadway they make small talk
When she brings his eggs and fills his coffee cup
He jokes about his love life
And tells her he's 'bout ready to give up
That's when she says,"I've been there before
But keep on lookin' 'cause maybe who you're lookin' for is..."

Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there.. is somebody

Across town in a crowded elevator
He can't forget the things that waitress said
He usually reads the paper
But today he reads a stranger's face instead
It's that blue-eyed girl from two floors up
Maybe she's the one maybe he could fall in love with

Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there.. is somebody

Now they laugh about the moment that it happened
A moment they'd both missed until that day
When he saw his future in her eyes
Instead of just another friendly face
And he wonders why he searched so long
When she was always there at that diner waiting on

Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right on by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there
Oh Somewhere out there..
Is somebody..

see video

dinner

had a buka puasa dinner today. yum yummmm!!

thank god my friend mentioned about it to me, coz if not i'd be downing coke and munching cookies instead.

we had nasi beriani, mihun goreng, lauk ayam masak pedas, daging masak kurma, kari apa ntah, kuih-muih nan pelbagai... wohooo!! ada ramai sungguh yang datang, sixty to seventy people at least. students je ada about 30plus, from wisconsin and urbana-champagne and northwestern and wherever else i didn't get to ask. tu masing2 tu, including yours truly, datang jamuan melenggang-kangkung bawak perut je la.

and i had a really good time, for a change. masa maghrib tu tak cukup space so some of the students and i went for the second prayer (kita jadi imam). pastu makan. then isyak and tarawikh. pastu makan. then naik berborak ngumpat2 saripah aini vs siti. hee! pastu, whatelse, makan.

it struck me how young the students looked, how youthful and vibrant and innocent. it made me realized how fleeting time has been, how a lot older i now am, how drained i am of life.

there were lots of single girls too, for a change, albeit students. people kept ribbing me to go and pick one for a bride, betapa siotnyer masing-masing. but the girls were cute, though. yet alas, i didn't curi2 main mata menekan ayat ngan diorang. i am wayyyy too old and too tired to play this i-like-you-do-you-like-me-too charade anymore.

next week ada jamuan lagi. yay!

puasa

speaking of puasa, my mom told me a story of how when i was very little on my first day of puasa.

i came back from kindergarten, all tired and grouchy and famished, and i just dropped my bag at the front door and lied down there on the floor crying.

my mom asked, "kenapa ni??" and i said, "lapaaaaaaaaarr... aaaaaaaaaarrrr" and then i cried again - meraung-raung, quothed my mom.

then my neighbor saw me, and said, "ehhhh bagi la budak tu makan!"

and my mom, in exasperation, said, "dah suruh makan dah tapi nangis-nangis pun dia nak puasa gak!"

i cried, i slept, ate when the time finally came, and slept again. haven't missed a day of puasa ever since.

that was my first ramadan. and that's me: cranky, moody, determined, and degil cam siot.

golf day

this must be the craziest thing i've ever done in golf.

i have had only three hours of sleep in the last 36 hours, it was the first day of puasa, and i was playing 18 holes in a (brrrr!!) 40 degreesF weather, in the rain even.

i am exhausted now.

i played, by my standard, a horrible horrible game. my long irons weren't working, my up-and-downs were ugly, and i shot 105 on par-72, - that'a little less than double-bogey average. on any other day, for any other guy, that would be a decent score but i knew i could've shoot my bogeys if it wasn't for the bloodyhell two 8's and two 7's and a bunch of short miss-putts. i just hate it when i didn't do as i damn well knew i could. my other two friends broke 100, and being the ultra-competitive that i am, i felt soooo embarrased. sheesshh, demmit i suck!

and i'm coming down with a little flu again...

*sighh* ...selamat berpuasa anyway, everybody.

sebring day

today must've been a Sebring day.

all day today, while i was working, i kept seeing gorgeous chrysler sebrings passing by, ten of them maybe, the whole day. i think that's a sign for me to go buy a new car.

i've been looking around for a new replacement for Kumari Letchumi Manikam the Camry. i'm thinking of getting maybe a Sebring or a Coupe Legend.

i have decided, after a long thought, that if i could get me a Legend then i would name her "Putri," as in Putri the Legend. nama panjang dia obviously would be Gusti Puteri Retno Dumillah Si Buah Hati Asmaradana. hee!

berangan aje la tu...

oh lindsay...

girllll um um umh...!

tsk tsk tsk...

what happened to my lindsay?? the lindsay who's an all-american cute-girl-next-door? the one who was soo adorable in parent trap, and freaky friday, and mean girls?

and i'll probably go to hell for saying this... but those are really nice and-and yummy and gorgeous bunch of, um, ..fruits. weee!

cakap melayu sket...

dia taktau cakap melayu, so kita tulis bm la eh..

ok, mula-mula, pada yang selalu menjengah blog ni, maaf ya sebab ada satu masa tu kita tak mencoret lama dah.

kita simpan lama dalam hati, tertahan-tahan taknak tulis, tapi hari ni nak cerita gak.

ada la sorang awek ni, cek mek mulek pojaan hati nama diberi. alkisahnya diceriterakan kami dah berkawan lama dah, almost sepuluh tahun. kawan jek. nak buat gf dia taknak. jual mahal nak bf yang hensem2 belaka. although, kalau dia terbuka hati nak terima kita, kita kan girangnye sukacitanye tidak terkira.

maka sekonyong-konyongnya pada satu hari yang fana itu, kita invite la cekmek ni baca blog kita. dia baca, lepas tu dia call marah-marah kat kita.

ikut hati, nak bolayan je. tensen ada. geram ada. sakit hati pun ada. kita tak tulis pun benda2 tak elok pasal dia. ada la a small reference pasal dia, in fact bukannya tak elok pun, tapi pastu kami bertekak pasal maksud small reference tu sama ada elok ke tidak. eeeee!! yg dia marah sangat tu ialah the possibility kita akan tulis suma yg dia cerita kat kita. kita cakap takde laaa manadeee kita takkan tulis pun. dia kata nanti musuh2 dia dok cari kat internet jumpa pasal dia kat blog kita, dok buat modal nak ngumpat dia. or, kata cek mek ni lagi, kawan2 dia akan dapat bad impression pasal dia. berjela-jela la dia berleter, kita diam jek buat budus. nak lawan pun tak guna.

pastu berhari-hari la pulak kami bermasam muka. dari almost tiap-tiap hari call, terus menyepi menghening diri. *sigh* sebab sayang punya pasal, kita beralah la.

puas kita dok memujuk si pujaan hati ni, and sekarang dah elok balik dah. tapi sepanjang tu kita tak tulis satu entry pun dalam blog ni. discouraged, really. took me a long time to finally find the heart untuk menukil kembali. kenapa mesti girls buat hal camni? for a crime i haven't yet done??

kalau nak ikutkan, ada banyak yang kita nak ngadu kat sini. some of them kita tulis tapi tak sampai hati nak publish. i could care less abt the particularly awful person i'm writing about, tapi ada orang lain yang kita teramat nak jaga hati dan perasaan. sebab mereka dan keluarga mereka tak bersalah.

anyway, ni la keluhan dan luahan hamba. i always fall for the most impossible woman.

on wishes, resolutions &etc

happy b'day, mister. : )

you are OLD! you are old and grey and weary and smelly and crimpy and cranky,

in (belated) celebration of my good day, here's my grateful list:

i am thankful for my health, even though i get sick easily like a cow, for at least my heart still beats and my soul still lingers and i still get to greet another morning and another round of golf. hee!

i am thankful for ellie...

i am thankful for my financial situation, for although i'm not making much money i'm making more than i already need and more than i could figure what to do with, and for although my job is crummy it gives me a lot of rest time and no headaches and no heartattacks and i get to write and read and indulge in other things in life i love doing than getting stuck nine-to-seven bolted to a desk so that other people can get rich and the rest of the world gets whatever crap that's left and i don't get the chance to make one person smile everyday and change one person life in my lifetime.

and should be thankful (even though, really, i am not) that i don't have a gf, - that there's no one to yell at me, curse me, spew profanity at me, leer at me like i'm the crappiest person on earth, jeer at me like i'm just a child, and stomp on my heart with her high-heels the way girls alwaaaays do.

having said that, i would do ANYthing to see her smile at me, to see her eyes light up when she sees me, or the way her face softens whenever i do something special to her, to sit by her side listening to her nag about that office-lady she hates; and to hear her sleepy voice just before she nodded off to bed, to see her sleep in peace...

resolutions? to be less skeptical of the world, to be less contemptful of life. and perhaps i can find it in my heart to love malaysia again, after she and her girls have disappointed me so many times.

but, since we're talking about lofty dreams, here's a list of things that i really wish i could do before i depart this earth:

finish that godforsaken novel.
write a play.
write a screenplay.
write a piano sonata.
have ila play the piano sonata.
compose a symphony piece.


of course, the sad thing is, one of these will forever remain a wish...

berleter

apa la awak ni syameiiii... dah seminggu dah, still demam lagi?? makin teruk ada la.

ko mmg camni. kalau sakit, tak empatpulo hari empatpulo malam memang tak sah. nak kena bersepuh-sepuh mandi-bunga ngasap-kemenyan baru nak kebah. tak pun, nak kena masuk hospital manja2 gedik2 ngan misi lawa2 baru la elok.

orang kalau sakit kena la berpantang inchek oi. ni dok pantang aiskrim jek, apa barang?? orang suh minum air banyak2, awak gi minum diet coke bergelen-gelen. ceklat? makannn. asam? sebungkus besaq bole abis satu hari. tapi nasi takmo makan. lauk feveret lagi. eeeeee penat la kita masakkk. ni yang nak beleter ni.

ingat kan dulu awak tu asik demam everytime tukar musim? temperature berubah sikit je awak dah start selsema. empat kali setahun, every year, sampai boleh timing. US tak officially tukar musim lagi selagi awak belum demam. recent year dah ok, tapi sekarang ni dah start balik. take care of your health la, wussy.

awak tu dah la makan sekali sehari jek. i know you feel quesy every morning, but you've got to have something. you sleep but 3-4 hours at a time; that's not sleeping, that's napping. u're not a cat, alright? can you even recall when you last had a good night sleep? you have an ailing heart, remember? that's the literal heart, not that the figurative. not that the figurative is in any bettter condition either.

multi-vitamin awak dah lama habis ni, bila nak beli?